TABLE MANNERS

When I was three
We got on a tanker and took to sea
Across the ocean blue to the USA
Ready to learn a new and easier way.

It wasn't long before I learned to table that thought
What is the matter with these people,
How many tables have they got?

Dining, kitchen, end, side, conference, chess, card,
Are coffee tables only for coffee?
So, if I want tea, am I not able?

Poker, pool and ping pong tables
That's only the P's
There are more gaming tables!

At school I learned to keep my hands
Folded on the table top
During earthquake drills, under the table I hop.

Water tables, mountain tables, Knights of the Round Table
We studied and explored
I'm not done yet, there is much, much more!

There were multiplication tables, the table of contents
And the Twelve Tables of Roman Law,
Amortization tables, drafting tables, and even a table for a saw.

I learned that Congress may table a motion
And there are chemical tables to create a potion.

To relieve stress, have fun and unwind
Listen to turntable music of any kind.

Now here comes the bride
With the groom at my side
First off to the buffet table
Then on to the banquet table we go

They turned the table on us
When the magician stole the show.
On to a cruise ; we were so delighted
When to the Captain's Table we were invited.

When we measure, we use a tablespoon
To ensure we're precise
And when we set the table
A tablecloth makes it oh so nice.

A computer allows us to create tables
Actors practice at table reads
Hobbyists often use crafting tables
To organize their many beads.

You get my point, I don't want to bore
But this is fun, so indulge me one more:
A table for one, a table for two
A table to infinity
O.K., your table is ready
Now here's the nitty-gritty...

This English language is confusing as hell
You must live here a long time to understand it well.

by: Sam, a spoof on her second language!
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT:
To my hubby, who asked me to create a table on the computer
Then, Lu-Ann,, for whom I created a table that would suit her!